Selfishness isn't always a bad thing

In trying to grasp the new freedom that I'm now experiencing, I compiled the following list.

Why being single and unattached is a good thing:

1. I have the bed all to myself!

2. I get to come and go as I please.

3. I can spend more time with the people that i care about the most.

4. Other than God, i don't have to answer to anybody. I have options!

5. Within responsible limits, I can spend my money however I see fit.

6. I am now driving the car I really want and I can put whatever bumper and window stickers on it that I want.

6. If the mood strikes me, I can eat ice cream for dinner.

7. I can pursue my passions to my heart's content.

8. I can decorate my home however I please.

9. I can go out with a different friend of the opposite sex every night of the week if I want.

10. I have been able to find a church that I truly love and want to be an active part of.

11. I can watch whatever I want on TV.

12. In the car, I can listen to whatever kind of music I want to.

13. Seeing as I live by myself, I don't have to worry about anybody leaving the toilet seat up!

As I was going through my divorce, my therapist advised me not to do any serious dating for at least a year. In a way, it does seem a bit restrictive, but it is actually very wise. While I came through my divorce fairly unscathed, I still need time to get my bearings back. I'm not the same person I was before I got married. I need time to just relax and have fun. I need time to restablish what matters to me the most. I just need time to be me. In this case, a bit of selfishness isn't a bad thing.

Yes, I still hold on to the dream that I will get a second chance at love. By choosing selfishness for right now, I'll be a better partner for whomever God may have in mind for me down the road. If I get married again, I want to marry someone who is truly my best friend. Those kind of things just can't be rushed. In the meantime, I seek to learn what it means to be truly content and to make the most of this season in my life.

Out with the old and in with the new...

I have been rather busy over the last couple of weeks so there really hasn't been time for another blog entry until now. A lot is happening right now in my world and I do want to share at least some of it with you.

One thing that I have been doing a lot of is cleaning out and getting rid of stuff that I don't want or need anymore. A lof of this was stuff that was given to me and the now-ex as wedding gifts and other stuff that reminds me of the marriage that really doesn't have a place in my new life. I filled up the back end of my new-to-me small SUV, plus part of the back seat. It felt good to rid myself of these things I didn't need anymore, plus I was able to support a local charity who does a lot of good in my community.

Upon the suggestion of a couple of friends, I mailed my wedding dress off to an organization called Angel Gowns. They take these dresses and reconstruct them into beautiful burial gowns for newborns who unfortunately don't get to come home from the hospital with their families.

The next question was what to do with my engagement, wedding, and anniversary bands, as well as some other nice jewelry that the ex and his family had given to me in the course of our relationship. Well, I wound up taking it to a local jewelry store, and along with some added money, I got this:

To me, the diamond solitare represents my new beginning. It is simple. Nothing else is needed for the diamond to stand out on it's own. It is beautiful in it's own right.