"You've come a long way, baby!"

It's hard to believe that almost two years have gone by since I made the decision to leave a marriage that was sucking the soul out of me. I've had the opportunity to grow and experience a lot of new things in many areas of my life. The one area where I've experienced the most growth and change is my spiritual life.

I think that a lot of my growth had to do with the fact that I made it a priority to find a good church home where I could get the support I needed to transition to this new phase of life. I found just that church home about a month after I moved out. The messages were uplifting and just what I needed to be hearing at that time in my life. The people were accepting of me; I didn't feel judged at all because of my impending divorce. This environment created a safe place among the chaos where I could address my spiritual issues and grow in my faith.

Among the things I've better come to understand:

--How truly powerful prayer can be. It's not only the big things in my life that God cares about, but also the little things. I've seen God do some amazing things simply because I was willing to talk to Him about them.

--The redeeming power of the grace of God. Because God loves me unconditionally, I don't have to wallow in guilt everytime I mess up. With God's forgiveness and help, I can get back up on my proverbial horse and keep riding.

--The "sixth sense" is a powerful thing. For the Christian, this sixth sense is the presence of the Holy Spirit within him/her. It is that still, small voice within. It is that gut feeling. Learning how to be better aware of it's prompting has helped me make some really good decisions as well as reassuring me when I'm not sure about decisions I've made.

--I've grown secure enough in myself and my relationship with God that I've found it less necessary to share too much personal information with others, hence my decision to leave Facebook. I don't need everybody's approval of my life decisions. As long as God is pleased, then it doesn't matter so much what everybody else thinks.

--Being able to trust God is essential in being able to take risks. I still struggle in this area, but I have made some progress! 

I can't say that I have arrived yet in perfecting myself spiritually. That won't happen this side of eternity. I can say that I am in a state of continuous growth. As long as I continue to grow, I will continue to make progress in reaching the potential that God has set for me.

I think the following song lyrics sum up the last two years for me:

"No I cannot count the ways 
You have made my life so blessed
All I know is that You came 
And made beauty of my mess."

--Ayiesha Woods "Happy" 

Heather 2.0: taking care of my body

Up until spring of 2015, most of the focus of Heather 2.0 had been on redeveloping myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually following my divorce. After a routine doctor's appointment in March, I knew it was time to start addressing the physical side of things. 

In the last couple of years or so of my marriage, the weight had crept on. I knew that I would eventually need to address it, but other things took priority after the divorce. As a part of the routine doctor's visit, she had me go for bloodwork. She and I were both quite shocked to find out that my cholesterol level had risen significantly. Granted, I shouldn't have been that surprised, given the fact that high cholesterol does run in my family. At any rate, we agreed that I should start cleaning up my diet and incorporating more exercise into my lifestyle. After four months, I would go back for more bloodwork to see if that helped any.

For the next four months, I did just that. I cleaned up my diet by eliminating most junk food and eating out less (especially fast food). I took up running and I made more visits to the gym. I really invested myself in this new lifestyle. As a bonus, the weight started coming off--not super fast, but steadily. I was really pleased with myself.

I went back for my cholesterol retest and was shocked to find out that my overall cholesterol level had risen despite my efforts. This simply confirmed that it wasn't so much a matter of lifestyle that contributed to it, but genetics. I went on medication and will be retested in a couple of months or so to see how well I'm responding to it

Despite the fact that my efforts didn't make much of a difference addressing the initial cholesterol issue, I continue to strive to keep up the lifestyle changes that I've made. Since my diagnosis, I've lost in the neighborhood of 20 pounds. I love the fact that I'm starting to get into smaller clothes. Ultimately, it's the good feeling I get from taking better care of my body that keeps me going, though.

Insights from a week at sea

One thing I love about vacations is that the downtime allows me to clear my mind and open it to new ideas and realizations. Here are several from this past trip:

1. I can plan all I want, but I need to be flexible and open to unexpected opportunities. I just need to go with the flow.

2. I need to let go of the need to control so much. Sometimes, the most exhilarating experiences can be had just by letting go.

3. If something is important enough to me, I need to pursue it with determination. There will most likely be bumps in the road along the way, but I can't let them stop me. If it's really meant to happen, it will happen.

4. I have let Facebook and it's influence dominate my life too much and it's stressing me out. While I was at sea, I actually found it a bit of a relief to not have access to it.

After giving it some thought, I have decided to deactivate my Facebook presence for the time being. I'm not eliminating my social media presence altogether, as I will keep my Instagram and Twitter accounts, as they aren't the problem. Facebook is a big time-suck for me, so ridding myself  of it will free up a good chunk of my time to pursue more productive things. If any of my FB friends really want to stay in touch with me, there are always options like phone calls, texting, and emails.

Ultimately, I believe that I will be liberating myself. :)

What an awesome trip!

• Here it is...the low-down on my recent cruise on the Norwegian Getaway.

  
  

  As I mentioned in a previous post, I had booked a Studio cabin. I figured that I probably wouldn't be spending a ton of time in the cabin anyway, so an inside cabin would work just fine. It was the least expensive option, anyhow. Connected to the Studio cabins is a Studio lounge, where solo travelers can meet up and hang out. For peace of mind, only those in Studio cabins have access to this area of the ship; a keycard is required to access the whole Studio cabin section and lounge, as well as our own individual cabins. There is a Solos coordinator who handles dinner and show reservations for those groups  of solo travelers who would like to go together;  he did a great job taking care of everything. 
  
  The food was excellent. I ate mostly at the buffet, Taste, and Savor. I did also try Tropicana and O'Sheehans. With the quality of the food at the complimentary restaurants, I saw no real need to go to the premium restaurants. One thing I would like to note is that the Tropicana can get really noisy between the live music and the ambient noise. I would've liked to have gone more than once, but as someone who has sensory processing issues, I just couldn't handle it. 
  
  As for entertainment, I saw a dance show, "Burn the Floor" (awesome), and the musical Legally Blonde (excellent). I also enjoyed an evening at the comedy club. I did go to the Glow Party and enjoyed it for a short time before sensory issues got to me and I had to leave (think loud music and lots of people dancing around waving glow sticks).
  
  With excursions, I enjoyed all of mine. At St. Thomas, I opted for the Eco-Hike at St. John and also took the sky lift to Paradise Point after returning to St. Thomas. At Tortola, I took the excursion to The Baths on Virgin Gorda; my only complaint is that we didn't get enough time to really enjoy the beauty that The Baths has to offer. At Nassau, I took the Seahorse Snorkel and Sail trip. Other than dealing with a leaky mask and a too-big mouthpiece on the snorkel, I had a good time and would go on it again, bringing my own snorkel and mask next time. 
  
  One thing that really stood out to me on this cruise was the service I got from the crew. On my birthday, I return to my cabin to find it decorated with a big birthday sign and balloons! Talk about making a girl feel special! There was also the birthday cupcake left in my cabin and a larger birthday cake I got when I went to dinner on my birthday night. Throughout the week, I would often come back to my cabin after being out to find little treats like chocolate-covered strawberries, chocolate candy, and even champagne!
  
  After this cruise, I am definitely hooked on NCL and see no real need to cruise with anybody else. As a matter of fact, I've already booked another cruise on the Escape for the same week next summer.

  
  

  

  
  

  Honeymoon Beach on St. John

  
  

Before I cruise: inspiration from another solo traveler

Leading up to this cruise, another solo traveler that I love and miss has been on my mind lately. Throughout my life, my Aunt Margaret (my maternal grandfather's baby sister) has been a role model for me. Like me, she was a college graduate (back when not a lot of women graduated from college). Like me, she married at a fairly late age for her generation, and never had any kids. Like me, she found herself single again (widowed) at a fairly young age. She was wise, kind, generous, loving, accepting, and ahead of her time. This coming December will make 15 years that she's been gone. I still miss her.

After Aunt Margaret found herself widowed, she took it as an opportunity to pursue her dreams. She retired from her teaching job and started traveling the world. Oh the places she went! She didn't wait for another man to show up--she just did it! She never did remarry, but that didn't stop her from living a joyful, content life that had an overwhelmingly positive impact on her family, friends, and church.

Aunt Margaret continues to be a role model for me. To me, she is proof positive that a joyful, rich life is possible for a single-again woman. Yes, I would still like to marry again someday. Even if that opportunity never comes, it doesn't mean that my life is over by any stretch of the imagination. I've still got places to go,  people to love on, and positive vibes to spread. In a sense, my life is just beginning!

At some point during this cruise, I will sip on an adult beverage and toast her memory. :)

"No expectations, no disappointments."

"No expectations, no disappointments" may very well become my new mantra.

Don't get me wrong--this doesn't apply to my life overall. I have been blessed in so many ways since I've been on my own again; I can't really complain. I've got a job that I like and that pays well, supportive family and friends, a great church, and a variety of hobbies and interests that keep me busy.

The one area of my life that has left me disappointed has been dating. Despite getting out there and socializing, I have not been asked out on one single date. Any attempts in approaching guys I'm interested in going out with have failed miserably, leaving me feeling hurt. I've done a lot over the past 1.5 years to improve myself and I believe that I have a lot to offer someone special, so why isn't anything happening? God only knows.

What's a girl to do?

Go live her life.

At this point, I have resolved to live my life as if nobody will show up. That's partially why I'm going on this cruise. I could wait for a man to take me on one, but with my luck, it might not happen. I don't want to be at the end of my life on this earth and regret that I didn't go on these types of adventures simply because I didn't want to travel alone. I won't be lonely (there will be nearly 4,000 people on this ship, not counting crew), but can spend time alone if I want to. I'm taking some of my favorite outfits, simply because they make me feel good when I wear them. I will not make myself up simply to impress the men, but because I take pride in how I look and want to feel beautiful and confident as I walk around the ship. This is my trip and I plan on making the most of it--my way.

With the men, there will be no expectations, therefore no disappointments. I won't avoid them, but I will guard my heart, not letting any of them get too close to me nor letting myself get too close to them right now. I just can't deal with any more  hurt. I want this vacation to be relaxing and fun, not filled with drama.

One thing I did decide to splurge on for this cruise is a pass to the ship's thermal spa. It'll be a great way to wind down after a workout or just to relax at any other time. It's supposed to be quiet and its out of the direct sun, so I don't have to worry so much about getting sunburned. Just looking at the pictures of this place starts to put me in a relaxed state. I can only imagine what I will feel like when I actually show up in person!

http://www.iceportal.com/brochures/ice/brochure.aspx?brochureid=ICE17468&type=vr&did=3719&lang=en&index=22

This link is a 360 view so you can see for yourself. :)

I'm headed towards Miami in less than 48 hours! Can't wait!

It's almost time to "Getaway"!

In my last post, I mentioned that I will be going on a cruise very soon and I'm so excited! The ship that I will be be going on is the Norwegian Getaway out of Miami and she looks to be a pretty awesome ship! Here's a link so you see it for yourself:

http://www.ncl.com/cruise-ship/getaway

One of the things that makes her unique among most other cruise ships is that she offers a cabin option called the Studio cabin, which is a cabin specifically designed for one person. If you're family with cruise ships and their pricing structure, for a single person not wishing to share their cabin, the cruse lines will charge a single supplement, which can make cruising really expensive for solo travellers. With the Studio cabins, there is no supplement, making it more affordable. For me, it was the least expensive option. I had cruised on NCL before and had really liked it, so I was in!

A plus that comes with the Studio cabins is the exclusive Studio Lounge connected to them. It's a way to help the solo travellers connect with each other. One hour each afternoon is set aside as the happy hour where a crew member will be present to organize dinner and show reservations for those singles who want to go as a group, as well as other singles activities.

I've already been in contact with some of the people who will be on the ship at the same time as I through a Roll Call thread on the Cruise Critic website: http://boards.cruisecritic.com. We plan on having a meetup on Sunday so that we can all meet in person. There are a wide variety of people that will be there, including another Aspie (someone who has Asperger's Syndrome) like myself. In the wild, I generally don't meet very many people who will come right out and admit that they have AS. I hope to talk more with him and compare notes and perhaps strike up a friendship. While I'm blessed to have a few good neurotypical friends and family who are very tolerant of my Aspie quirks, it would be nice to talk with someone who lives with it like I do and understands it from that perspective.

I hope I'll have time to share a little more of my excitement before I leave, but if I don't, I definitely will after I get home. :)

Directions, please!

At this point, I feel as if this chapter of my life is ending and a new one is about to begin. I have no clue where it will take me. I just hope I'm ready. 

The chapter that I'm closing out is what I call the divorce and aftermath chapter, which started when I made the decision to leave my now-ex and spans the period up until now.

Things are definitely shifting. Over the past nearly 18 months, much of my personal and spiritual growth has been about healing. I've now reached a point where this growth is becoming less and less about healing and more about expanding my horizons. It's a place I've never really been before. It's exciting and a bit scary.

While I do have a few general goals in mind for the next 2-3 years, I honestly don't have an overall direction for my life yet. There are some things that I would like to see happen, but whether or not they happen is mostly out of my control. There are those things that are in my control, but I don't yet have enough information to confidently make a good decision.

At this point, all I can do is to ask God for direction and trust that He'll give it to me when the time is right. I just need to keep an open mind to whatever He has in store for me.

A week from this Saturday, I will be getting on a cruise ship for a week of fun. I will make new friends. I will celebrate my birthday during that week. I will also be celebrating the beginning of this new chapter in my life story.

What a difference a year makes...

It's been over a year since I last blogged, but it's now time for me to dust it off.

So much has happened in the last year that it's hard to put it into one blog post, but I will give you a quick summary, complete with bullet points:

--I thought I had found the love I was looking for; he later broke my heart.

--I danced in a West Coast Swing competition.

--I survived a really bad performance review at work and fought my way back into my boss's good graces.

--I learned to like being alone.

--In response to a bad doctor's report, I cleaned up my diet and took up running.

--I took a solo vacation and I loved it!

--I was able to shed a lot of the emotional baggage that I had accumulated before and during my marriage.

This past year was about having faith, being brave, overcoming, and becoming stronger.

In future posts, I will elaborate more on the above list, as well as share some exciting upcoming happenings. Stay tuned! :)