Over the weekend, I had 2 separate conversations with some fellow Christians that got me to really thinking about what I really want in life. As a result, I feel that I'm being led to pull a dream I've had for years, but haven't been able to fulfill, off the shelf of lost causes.
Like most women, I've longed to have a husband and family of my own since I was a little girl. I did manage to get the husband, but not the family I had hoped for. When the now-ex and I decided to get married, we agreed that we would wait 2-3 years before starting our family. The time came and the ex announces that due to the declining state of the world, he doesn't want to being any kids into it. While disappointed, I accepted it and sought to create a fulfilling life, lavishing my nurturing and maternal instincts onto our fur children. As the marriage continued on, the problems kept piling up and the truth about the issue came out. Apparently, the ex had decided that there were some things about me that had concerned him about my ability to be a good mother to any children that we might have. By that point, I was feeling the same way about him.I didn't want to bring a child into the dysfunction that was our marriage.
Then we divorced....
I remember talking with my lawyer about the issues with my marriage and had expressed my disappointment in never being in a good position to start the family I had always wanted. She encouraged me, saying that even at my age, it still wasn't too late. I am past prime childbearing age, so I dismissed it as something that I would most likely not get to experience. I mean, my plans for a family involved needing to meet Mr. Right and marrying him, which was not likely to happen anytime soon. Never mind the kids, I would be thrilled just to eventually connect with Mr. Right.
Fast forward to last weekend...
While I won't go into the details of the conversations I had with my friends, the tone of these conversations set off something in me. Add to that, my Pastor has been encouraging our congregation to pray big, bold prayers and to do big, bold things for God. Why not take my dream of having the great husband and being a stay-at-home mom off the shelf of lost causes, dust it off, and give it to God to do what He sees fit to do with it? I have never done anything like this before in my Christian walk so to deciding to trust God in this way is a pretty bold move for me. Sure, there's always the possibility that God may not make my dreams come true, but replace them with different dreams. At the same time, what if He does agree with me and make the seemingly impossible happen? I wouldn't want to miss out on that simply because I wasn't bold enough to ask Him in the first place.
Yes, I am laying it out there! I would love to have an absolutely awesome husband, kids, and be able to be a stay-at-home mom to them. The white picket fence is optional. :-P
Friends, I encourage you to dream big and pray big and to know that our God, who had the power to raise Christ from the dead, is perfectly capable of making those dreams come true. You just have to ask and to trust.
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Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27 NIV)
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. (Psalm 40:1 NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)
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